Amelia's name

When we found out we were having girls, Boris and I settled on one name pretty quickly.  Amelia, after my friend Amelia Marguet.  I've had it in my head for a long time, but didn't bring it up on my own because I didn't want to force it on Boris. I was very pleased when he independently came up with the idea on his own.  It's a beautiful name, and Amelia was a beautiful person.

I met Amelia Marguet in May 2009 when we worked together as summer associates at Gibson Dunn.  I  liked Amelia right away. She has this "infectious laugh."  When she laughed, you just had to love her (although admittedly as a timid summer associate, sometimes I was worried that her loud laugh was going to get us in trouble when we were giggling in my office instead of working!).  She was an all-around, amazingly awesome person.  After law school I was disappointed to hear that Amelia decided to clerk at the Federal Circuit  instead of coming straight to work.  Good for her (very prestigious), but I wanted my friend to start working with me.  A year later, she finally joined us.  In my head I just knew that Amelia and I were going to be lifelong friends. I imagined we would hang out together all the time, and she would be one of my new bay-area friends.  When I had a rough day at work, I often found myself wandering upstairs to her office. Not wanting to bother her, I usually tried to come up with an excuse to be there, but in the end the result was the same -- we chatted about nonsense that had nothing to do with why I pretended to be there. It was usually the best part of my day. I regret not going to her office more often. I was so worried about being a burden and distracting her from her work, but looking back I should have gone anyway.

A few short months later, a partner came into my office to tell me that Amelia had died the day before. I was devastated.  Later that day I learned from Amelia's husband that she had taken her own life.  Another blow.  I struggled with the realization that this tragedy could have been prevented for months. It's still hard to think about. So many "what ifs." After I found out about the news, my first reaction was to go upstairs, I guess to talk to Amelia about it. It took a long time for me to truly realize she was gone.

Given that I had known her for only a few months, it's amazing how much of an impact Amelia made in my life. But that's just the kind of person she was. An amazing, inspirational, awesome person who probably had no idea how much she meant to those around her (myself included).  I hope to raise my little Amelia (and her sister Alexis) to be as kind, loving, and amazing as my friend Amelia Marguet.  Big shoes to fill. I've also always imagined, despite not being a religious person, that Amelia was watching over my girls when they were born. Their birth was so traumatic, and they needed a lot of help. Despite being 3 months early and only 2 pounds, they did better than almost anyone could have expected under the circumstances.  I like to think Amelia had something to do with that.

We miss you Amelia. You will never be forgotten.